We're Going to Pa- Colmar Day 8: America, the Land of the Free

“You’re going to have to translate what he’s saying to me,” Mike said during our gondola ride.

“I have no idea what he’s saying. Oh, that house is yellow. Something about latrines. It’s too bad. Yeah, that’s all I’m getting.”

Mike and I started the day off, as always, getting coffee and croissants. All of our meals here take two hours because service in France is terrible. Maybe it’s because we don’t tip here – although that’s changing now, thanks for nothing America. It just always feels like waiters have better things to do than ask us if we want the check.

After breakfast, we stopped by the Monoprix, where a bag of blue razors was 2.64 euro and a bag of pink razors was 2.73 so the pink tax is alive and well here I guess.

We finally got to the gondola on the river and it was magical. I was a bit bummed we had to share our ride with four other people but I guess we don’t get private tours in Little Venice here. Anyway it was stunning and here are some pics to prove it!

Afterwards we got pretzels which was okay and some sausage for our train ride back to Paris the next day (Mike and I decided to splurge on the train on the way back lolol) that we would pair with a baguette and cheese. We're nothing if not planners.

After a quick lunch, Mike and I went to the Bartholdi Museum, which is in the house where Auguste Bartholdi grew up and lived. August Bartholdi sculpted the Statue of Liberty and was also a pretty renowned painter. The museum was fascinating, with sculptures of lions and Lafayette and Washington and paintings of the New York skyline in the 19th century. 

A few different versions of the Statue of Liberty that were considered before choosing the one we have today.

On the ground floor of the museum, there was a room dedicated to the Jewish people of Alsace. The history of the Jews in Alsace is, unsurprisingly, a real bummer. They first came to the region in the 4th century with the Roman armies, dealt with persecution and forced migration to rural areas for centuries, were blamed for the Bubonic Plague, had restrictions for land-owning and commerce enforced upon them, and finally, by the 19th century, began to slowly get some more basic civil rights.

Then the Franco-Prussian War happened, and if they wanted to stay French, they had to leave the region (because this war meant the Alsace-Lorraine region was returned to Germany) until WWI, when the Treaty of Versailles gave the region back to France. And things were, um, okay I guess, until WWII, when the Germans invaded and the French were all "oh, you want some Jews? We got some Jews for you. No problem."

All of these events were listed in a timeline in French, and Mike asked me to translate, so I got to read it all out loud. 

"This is a real downer," Mike said. Yes. He's not wrong.

We relaxed and walked around most of the afternoon. Accidentally came across House of the Heads on our way back to Monoprix to pick up the baguette and cheese. Finally visited St. Martin's church without the congregation and took some sweet pics. I love gothic cathedrals. Such fascinating atmosphere.

We also walked by this place, and either they sell trophies and feminine hygiene products side by side, or tampons means something different in French.

"Ah, yes, we sell trophies, engravings, medallions, and tampons."

We also saw this cat.

And then went to dinner at a place called Caveau de St. Pierre, which was one of my favorite meals of the trip. We ordered Alsatian muscat - very yum - and some red meat and spatzle. Dessert for Mike was this rasberry/lemon sorbet with meringue that was very good, and I got profiteroles. There were almonds even though almonds are not listed in the ingredients, which is very French, to add nuts where no one asked for them.

"Can you eat that?" Mike asked. "Should we send it back?"

"Almonds actually aren't that bad for me. I should be okay."

"Okay. But I'm going to be watching you the whole time. Like this." He looked at me with his brows furrowed in his version of Serious Face, which also looks like his Grumpy Face. 

"The whole time? Like that?"

"The whole time."

"Okay."

I took a bite. I put my fork down and put my hand to my chest. Breath stuttered in and out. I put my hand on the table for balance. Mike stared. Then I grinned and started breathing normally again and Mike got very angry with me and told me it wasn't funny but I think maybe it was a little funny? 

I also ordered something called Eau de Vie Framboise, which is a liquor famous in this region. I took a quick sip and immediately put the glass down and started coughing. I gave the glass to Mike to try. He sputtered as well.

"What did you order? Antiseptic?"

"I know, right?"

"I pride myself on keeping a straight face when I take a shot but Jesus. You could strip paint with that stuff."

I finished the glass because I already paid for it so.

On the way back, Mike decided to lecture me about my language choices.
"You know, when you say that word, they can understand what you're saying."
"No. There's no way."
"It has roots in the German language, Caitlin. They can figure it out."
"When you say that, all I hear is you being a big fucking nerd, bro."
"You gonna stuff me in a locker?"
"Yeah."

And that was our last night in Colmar! We went to bed early to get ready for our train to Paris. Tomorrow is our last day in France. We're not all that ready to go home.