We’re Going to Pa- Colmar Day 7: Sauerkraut is Dank

“Are you making money moves up there?” Mike asked from downstairs as I was getting dressed. I ran to the staircase.

“Why yes! I am making money moves! Thank you for asking!”

He must have heard my sweet tunes. Nice.

Mike and I had breakfast in our room before venturing out to Colmar. Colmar is so great. Paris is Paris, always wonderful and romantic and amazing, but I love having the opportunity to see smaller towns when I can. Cobblestone streets and medieval architecture and awesome gothic cathedrals and museums in almost all of them.

We first went to the large, central cathedral, St. Martin’s, to get a look inside. The bells were ringing, which made a dog so upset he started barking at it. But the barking didn’t stop the bells from ringing for some reason, so the dog kept barking. Keep trying, dog!

We went inside without realizing this cathedral still held mass. Whoops. Walked right back out.

“All the underwear in France has lace on it,” Mike said after passing yet another lingerie store.

“Yes. All French women wear all lace underwear all the time, always.”

“I knew it.”

Our first proper stop was the Toy Museum, which was pretty neat because it had toys dating from the 19^th century. Some toy collectors, who especially liked toys with motors of some kind in them, sold their collection to the city of Colmar, and this museum was the result.

There were some fun things here. Apparently kids weren’t considered people until the 19^th century, and that’s when toys started to become a bigger deal. There were tiny steam engine trains in here, but apparently not many of them were produced because some people thought it was dangerous to give steam engines to children. Hm.

Legos.

Mickey Mouse, dominoes, Monopoly, and circus toys!

Ninja turtles, Pokemon monopoly... checks out.

Toy construction set from the 1880s.

Toy guns make for kid patriots.

Barbies were in the girl section.

On the lower right hand side is a straight up toy mop bucket and broom set. WHO BUYS THIS FOR THEIR CHILD?

The top floor was all model trains. Nice.

After the toy museum, Mike and I went to the Unterlinden Museum, which is housed in an old Dominican convent first founded in the 1300s. It’s a beautiful building, obviously, and it has something called the Issenheim Altar, which was painted by Grunewald in the 1500s. There is a lot of artwork from the Issenheim monastery because it was destroyed… during a world war, maybe? I can’t remember.

That monastery was an Antonite monastery, so named for their devotion to St. Antony the hermit. The altar was a place people would come to if they were suffering from St. Antony’s fire, which was this disease that would basically give you gangrene all over your body until you died. It came from some bacteria on rye that you got if you cooked rye the wrong way or didn’t cook it or something, I don’t know, rye was involved. Anyway, it sounds gross.

The inside of the Issenheim altar.

Panels from the Issenheim altar. These are demons attacking St. Antony. Based on a true story.

Jesus rising from the dead on the left.

The altar was a place that wanted to heal you but also to remind you that Jesus definitely suffered way more than you did, so maybe chill out? I think that was Jesus’s intention – I suffered so people could be told to get over their own shit for eternity, until I come back.

A lot of Jesus being in serious pain. It's very detailed.

There was also a modern art wing with some Picasso paintings and Rodin sculptures so that was very neat too.

Also this painting of Macauley Culkin from the 19th century.

For lunch, Mike and I went to a café that served sauerkraut with 5 kinds of meat, by which they meant five kinds of pork products. It was good but also a lot. Also I know sauerkraut gets a bad rap but it’s delicious.

Mike and I then spent a very casual afternoon relaxing, writing, and then walking around. We got a beer at a local Irish pub. I tried to take a picture of this cute black lab but I clicked on the wrong button and then the dog walked away. I’m still pretty torn up about it.

Dinner was pork shoulder and sauerkraut again. Mike had chicken and spatzle, which is a weird kind of noodle that’s really good. We talked about politics and I am very tempted to quote our interactions because we had some sick burns about libertarianism but I’ll refrain.

Colmar is a nice change of pace from Paris, much slower, much easier to traverse, and a beautiful town. We’ll be sorry to leave.